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Farts…

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Started by andys gibson sg (James Harris) in Chit-Chat

Bit immature, but do they still make you laugh? Or are you one of those strong types that can go and not say anything. Ever farted in a really awkward place/situation?

Posted on Mon, 31 January 2011 at 10:53

You’re viewing replies 1–30 of 39 by 13 people

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#1

the.jamo (jamie wallace) wrote:

farts are the best ice breaker in the world, everyone loves a fart and theyre always funny imo, then the conversation always turns to funny stories about shit, or is that just me and my family, apparently its “our favourite subject”

Posted on Mon, 31 January 2011 at 18:11

#2

chr1s (I can't remember my own name) wrote:

So, what you’re saying is, that your family talk a lot of shit? Bit like mine really!! :D

Posted on Mon, 31 January 2011 at 18:32

#3

realityfuck (Jarlath) wrote:

Farts are always funny - Fact!

Posted on Mon, 31 January 2011 at 20:15

#4

Gav wrote:

unless you are in a lift

Posted on Mon, 31 January 2011 at 21:07

#5

andys gibson sg (James Harris) wrote:

Worst are in public loos. Bad enough you have to go by why a fart before. You’re trying to be quiet and its not needed :(

Posted on Mon, 31 January 2011 at 22:37

#6

Jobrok (John O)))) wrote:

I always let rip in the public loos.

The only reason a fella will ever actually use a cubical is to take a shite, so make it obvious that your droppin’ a log.
Or else to do a George Michael…!!! Whatever floats your boat.

Posted on Tue, 1 February 2011 at 08:56

#7

fatboy wrote:

Farting is a Sunday tradition. An hour or so after that dinner of meat, veg and gravey, all those gases form and those ripples felt on the buttocks feels great. Louder the better.

For teenage boys, farting its the ultimate form of comedy. Done in lessons where the teacher is a right (*add insulting word of your choice HERE*) and not only does it cause a chuckle, it also ruins the teacher’s lesson.

Cheerio, of to work in the office where fellow workers and I will discuss that lovely curry house and compare one another’s gas exchanges.

Posted on Tue, 1 February 2011 at 09:20

#8

Citizen Erased (confused again) wrote:

Depends the circumstance - a badly timed one can really kill the bedroom mood. Best ones aren’t so much funny as silent, stinky and well placed so that someone you don’t like suffers and/or gets the blame, those are definitely my favourites.

Posted on Tue, 1 February 2011 at 09:28

#9

andys gibson sg (James Harris) wrote:

Pausing during sex to do one can kill the mood but does keep a smile on the face :D

Posted on Tue, 1 February 2011 at 10:24

#10

Citizen Erased (confused again) wrote:

That really depends on how close the face was to the fart at the time…

Posted on Tue, 1 February 2011 at 10:27

#11

andys gibson sg (James Harris) wrote:

lol. If its doggy and its you giving it you’re safe I’m sure. If its her, well, just pretend you never heard it and consider it lube ;)

Posted on Tue, 1 February 2011 at 10:30

#12

chr1s (I can't remember my own name) wrote:

If you’re a bit of a sadist, fart and push her head under the covers. :D

Posted on Tue, 1 February 2011 at 14:47

#13

Cuchulain wrote:

The morning after a night on the Guinness…
Wallbangers , SBDs ( Silent But Deadly ) , the whole range if you give it a try.

Farts are better than sex.

Posted on Tue, 1 February 2011 at 16:20

#14

glen wrote:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1351174/African-country-s … crime.html

Posted on Tue, 1 February 2011 at 17:07

#15

Gav wrote:

Cuchulain wrote:

Farts are better than sex.

If you are in prison, maybe

Posted on Tue, 1 February 2011 at 18:53 in reply to an earlier post

#16

glen wrote:

“But locals fear that pinning responsibility on the crime will be difficult - and may lead to miscarriages of justice as ‘criminals’ attempt to blame others for their offence”

Posted on Tue, 1 February 2011 at 18:56

#17

crazy horse (crazy horse) wrote:

this thread STINKS!!!!!!!! anyone ?…no…ill get my coat

Posted on Tue, 1 February 2011 at 19:24

#18

andys gibson sg (James Harris) wrote:

Morning farts, lately tend to rip more.

If you tense up, lean on one cheek it could get you a squeeky!!

:)

Posted on Tue, 1 February 2011 at 23:36

#19

caffeinebomb (Caffeine Bomb) wrote:

Are they meant to be lumpy?

Posted on Wed, 2 February 2011 at 12:10

#20

chr1s (I can't remember my own name) wrote:

That’s what is known as a “wet fart”. Or more commonly, a “follow through”

Posted on Wed, 2 February 2011 at 12:43

#21

Gav wrote:

“…Pebble dashing the gusset”

Posted on Wed, 2 February 2011 at 13:33

#22

crazy horse (crazy horse) wrote:

i thought the gusset was at the front not the back

Posted on Wed, 2 February 2011 at 13:41

#23

Citizen Erased (confused again) wrote:

Jack Whitehall does this sketch about having a South African PE teacher when he was at school - the teacher always used to shout at him that ‘the trouble with you is you’re all fart and no poo. When I fart, I always follow through, and sometimes there’s blood!’

Presumably to laugh at a fart is to guffaw?

I kinda assume the gusset would reach far enough back to cover one’s starfish.

Posted on Wed, 2 February 2011 at 15:59

#24

Citizen Erased (confused again) wrote:

I meant wouldn’t, maybe on really big knickers I guess.

Posted on Wed, 2 February 2011 at 16:00

#25

crazy horse (crazy horse) wrote:

STARFISH isnt that a VIZism?

Posted on Wed, 2 February 2011 at 19:01

#26

CS (Colin S) wrote:

Jobrok wrote:

The only reason a fella will ever actually use a cubical is to take a shite

Not true. I get stagefright using urinals so have to piss in a cubicle!

Posted on Thu, 3 February 2011 at 01:12 in reply to an earlier post

#27

andys gibson sg (James Harris) wrote:

Weird, I’m with ya there Colin. Some people go to look lol :(

Posted on Thu, 3 February 2011 at 02:36

#28

Citizen Erased (confused again) wrote:

What I don’t get is the guys that stand in front of the urinal and rather than just unzip, have to unbuckle and practically strip off below the waist, what’s all that about?

Posted on Thu, 3 February 2011 at 06:27

#29

Gav wrote:

There was a ‘question of the week’ a few months back on b3ta.com about strange habbits, and it was quite strange that about 6 or 7 people posted the same thing, that they had to be totally naked when they poo - even if they go at work or in a public loo. I have to say I find that quite odd.

Posted on Thu, 3 February 2011 at 08:57

#30

Jobrok (John O)))) wrote:

Jobrok wrote:

The only reason a fella will ever actually use a cubical is to take a shite…

CS wrote:

Not true. I get stagefright using urinals so have to piss in a cubicle!

Actually! I’ll only pee in the small wall hanging urinals!
If it’s one of those big-ass trough yokes, I’ll avoid like the plague, and use the cubicle.
With troughs you’ll always get some demented, drunken pisshead who’ll come right up beside you, even though the trough is 3meters long, and start hosing around like the jacks is on fire.
A bit of your own splashback is just about barable!
But somebody elses is just not cricket.

Posted on Thu, 3 February 2011 at 09:23 in reply to an earlier post

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